TODAY, I CRY OUT OF PAIN

Goggling at me with her bright dazzling eyes beaming with surprise, she happily broke the silence and responded with a much anticipating answer “Yes, I do…I really do…”

This was a reply to my earlier proposal. As jittery as I was, waiting for her response which I thought would be a massive blow to my face, I said calmly and cautiously;

“Dear, you and I know how close and intimate our friendship has turned out to be. And perceiving how wonderful and angelic you’ve always been to me, I thought the idea of you being the sister I never had could be the best way to go but my sentiments and emotions always betray my conscience, leaving me with no better option than to say I love you and sincerely want you to be my fiancée. Please, do you love me?”

{See the hustle I had to go through just to deliver these three-letter words “I love you”. Never mind, let’s continue with the next chapter of the story.}

I couldn’t be much happier than hearing her confirm her love for me. I guess I’m lucky, right? Yes, lucky boy!

This was supposed to mark the beginning of my much awaited journey in life. She was mild-dark in complexion with lovely sparkling eyes. Her whitish set of teeth was always glittering in her mouth and her lip-glossed lips always inviting a kiss-the part I cherished- With her face beaming with smiles, I wondered if she were part of the mortal beings in this world since I usually thought angels were the only ones perceived to glitter with perfection, little did I know that I was harboring one of a human nature right inside my heart.
With this description, I hope you can imagine how much I was willing to love her without blemish. Just as life for us appeared to be so receptive, keeping us together for several hours and days, my profession on the other hand gradually seemed to threaten our bond as the most cherishable couple.
As a doctor, I always had tight schedules in which I devoted the very special ones to her but this very schedule happened to be inevitable and a threat to our togetherness.

Working at Korle-bu Teaching Hospital as a Gynaecologist, my primary role was to attend to the various diseases and conditions of women and in virtue of my profession, I was to embark on a three-year study leave abroad (to go to the United States of America) to further undertake a gynaecological practice.
When I first heard this sudden news, it was all joy like a river in my soul but upon a second thought, this will keep me away from her for too long. This distance has never been common to us since I was always there to cuddle her in my arms and smooch her soft body with my lovely touch.

{Whether hard or smooth, she loved the touch of my palms anyway, so, you don’t have to worry, just concentrate on the subsequent chapters}

I told her about what appears to be a blessing but would keep us apart. She was very anxious and never consented to this sudden development. She would always say:
“Sweetheart, I know and believe going abroad to further your education is not a bad idea but please come back soon. I don’t want to miss you for too long.”
Sometimes, she feared my trip, leaving me to understand why. It is not like I have ever cheated on her or she rather has cheated on me before, so why would a lady become jittery about her fiancé’s glory?

{On my bed, contemplating}
Waking up early the next morning, I hurriedly took my bath, dressed and got into my plushy “Infinitif” car. I drove to my lady’s crib and upon reaching there; she had already prepared a scrumptious breakfast. I gobbled the food entirely like a hungry lion, maybe because I didn’t eat before visiting her.

You look sexy. I intimated.

Thanks. She retorted.

{My eyes begun to scan her whole body, curiously trying to figure out what could be lying under her nightgown.}

Why do you still have your nightgown on, cutie? I inquisitively inquired.

She quizzically replied:
I just woke up and was doing some washing when I heard your car horn tooting, so I couldn’t slip on different attire. But why do you seem to be interested in what I’m wearing?

Nothing…just admiring the beauty of your body. I interjected.

Or do you want to have a piece of me today. She quizzed me.

I admittedly smacked my lips. Then, she reading the answer from my reaction went to continue her washing. I stayed in the hall doing what I like doing during leisure. I slotted an Angelina Jolie movie series into the DVD player and watched them with much admiration.
The clock ticking and darkness roping in into the day, it was time for supper and we both sat at the dinning table and enjoyed plates each full of rice, salad and chicken stew. I belch in a sign of satisfaction. Ouch…this is ungentlemanly…sorry, honey. {I said realizing I had breached my table etiquette}
Deep into the night after some hours of cuddling, kissing and caressing in the hall whilst watching the television together, Godfred which is my name and Vera as her maiden name, took our romantic session to the bedroom. I climbed on her, still doing what every man would do to her fiancée if given the chance, suddenly she switched the lights off amidst pleasurable moaning and afterwards, it’s none of your business.

{Now, to the third chapter}

Months passed by and days died out as the time for my departure drew nearer and nearer. It was now time for me to leave for America. I packed my necessary baggage and bade my medical colleagues together with my bone to bone and rib to rib, “goodbye”, at the Kotoka Airport and flew to America.

Wow…! My first day at America was amazing but I felt empty.
School was okay and for two and half years, my fiancée and I reached each other via Phone-calls, SMS, email, facebook and Skype. We were always chatting but she never mentioned her topmost secret to me and I didn’t bother to ask.

But looking at the text message she sent me last three days which read;
“Godfred, my sweetheart, I can’t express my emotions any better than to say I miss you dearly and wish we could continue our adventure the night before your trip. It was very romantic.
Baby, could you take time off your busy schedules abroad and come down here because the life you save today could be yours?”

I passionately read her message but couldn’t find my way round the puzzle she attached to the message. I never bothered to find out and never thought it was so pressing for me to come down to her. After all, I relished my trip due to other reasons.
One reason was the fact that I had gotten a more lucrative job and was receiving exorbitant money for the medical services I was rendering. There was therefore no point in returning to Ghana before my trip ends.

{Okay, now, open to the last chapter of my story}

I loved Vera very much and thought I was doing the best for her in defying her instruction for me to return to my motherland. I thought she only missed me and there was nothing amiss. She never told me anything wrong had happened. So, I considered so far as we could reach out to each other through those technological avenues, it was okay.

At Los Angeles Medical Center, the dismissal of a senior medical practitioner called for a month sitting-strike since all the doctors, including me, unanimously judged in favour of the victimized medical practitioner. The strike was supposed to have all doctors punctually present at their offices but would not render any medical attention and services to patients newly admitted until the impasse was resolved.
In the Gynaecological department at the hospital, playing a soothing R&B song from R. Kelly and relaxing in my office chair, I started fantasizing about Vera. Suddenly, I heard a rapid entry into my office by an agitated nurse who pleaded for my cooperation to attend to one of the patients who had just been admitted for an emergency operation.

I then told the nurse:
Look, nurse, you and I know the unanimous decision taken by all of us to abstain from treating any new patients. I can’t go against the decision.

The nurse quickly interrupted:
But doctor, the woman could die if you don’t attend to her. She needs your help, please.
Listen; don’t perceive me as a monster. I am equally concerned but sorry, there’s nothing I can do. Refer her to a different hospital. I replied.

The nurse continued to plead:
Doctor, please, she needs an immediate treatment. Otherwise, I’m afraid she might die.

{I angrily snapped at her}

I can’t do it, nurse…My hands are tied. You better leave this office before I get angrier.

{The nurse left and later returned together with other nurses pleading for my help.}

I wished I could help this patient but I didn’t want to betray our decision. I still insisted on transferring the patient to a different hospital but the nurses would not do that. I guess the patient might be really suffering.

{I swept the nurses out of my office and shut the door}

After some hours, the nurses trooped into my office, this time looking very sad. One of them gave me a note which the patient had written to be handed over to me and it read;
“Doctor, please, I have a life to protect. Would you help me get home safely because the life you save today could be yours?”

Quickly, something pricked my heart and it dawned on me that I had read the last lines of the patient’s note somewhere. I snappily joined the nurses to the theater, fully prepared to defy our decision, and help this patient out.
To my uttermost shock, there was this lady very pale and in serious condition, lying on the theater bed ready to undergo her operation leading to survival. I neared her side and in a second, tears streamed down my face as she gazed at me surprisingly and shockingly. I immediately broke down and said “sorry, sweetheart.”
{It was Vera, my love}

She said in a struggling voice:
Dear, I’m pregnant but I think I can’t continue this journey of life any longer. I wanted to wait for you to come back home before I tell you this good news but I suddenly fell ill and needed an emergency treatment abroad. Upon reaching this hospital, I became unconscious and was rushed to this theater. The nurses assured me of a doctor’s treatment but he never appeared. I even gave a note to the doctor but he did not come to my rescue. This doctor is very callous and inconsiderate. Honey, can you help me get home safely?

I responded in a loud voice:
Yes…!

But before I could operate anything tangible and necessary for her to survive, she passed out and gave up her ghost. I couldn’t help myself and therefore weepily broke into deep tears like a baby, thinking that my tears could do the miracle of bringing her and my unborn baby back to life.

I started blaming God but immediately heard a voice like Vera’s saying;
“I gave you the chance but you never grabbed it. Anyway, a mistake could possibly be corrected when a lesson is drawn but a mistake with no lesson is as dangerous as a python. You will never know when it will strike. There’s always a second chance for everything, sweetheart. In my heart and even in death, you will always be adored and I believe we will meet again after a while.”

Hearing these words, I walked out of the theater in much shame and instantaneously, left the hospital since I could no longer stay there. I had lost my life. I returned to Ghana, and today, watching the photographs of my love and me as I blot out her memories, I CRY OUT OF PAIN.

DEDICATED TO ALL MY SPECIAL ONES AND DOCTORS.

“Do not underrate any person because the life you save today could be yours”
…I love her…