AN OPEN LETTER TO MY JEWEL

Dearie,

This is not my first letter to you and it won't be my last to you.

But I can promise you it will be the best and truest from my heart.

Growing up, a wise man (of course my biological father) told me to always value the one I love.

And a wise woman (of course my lovely mother) also told me to care for people. She was very concerned how I was living my life. She was very worried I always coiled into my lonely shell and would not even entertain humans around me.

I consumed every counsel these great people gave me but I was very choosy and adamant about finding someone to care for.

The reason is simple...I didn't want to expect people turning their backs on me neither did I want to care for anyone because love really hurts. It hurts badly.

Till I met you, I never believed I could ever care for any person.

The truth is I built some friendship base in my alma mater, Ghana Institute of Journalism. I kept a crop of wonderful mates around me. For whatever reason, they somehow liked my being and for some whatever reason, some equally disliked my presence.

Both entities taught me a whole lot about engaging people in life but not as much as I met you.

It's still very fresh in my memory.

It was a Wednesday service in church in the year 2012.

My first time appearing in church and I saw you.

I couldn't hide my gaze.

I kept stealing glances at you and the most beautiful lady you are.

Don't get it twisted. I have come across beautiful bevy of ladies but the beauty that radiated on your being was not the superficial but the inner beauty.

Your beauty emanates from within and it's so contagious that it affected my psyche. I couldn't just stop goggling at you though I was in church to obviously serve God.

I remember what I prayed for as I stood gobsmacked and kept gazing till I heard a smooth melodious voice say to the congregation to rise up as the church worships God.

I remember I prayed for you.

I remember I told God to be with you.

I remember I prayed earnestly to know you.

What I didn't know was whether it would ever come to pass that I would indeed meet you.

The spirit of shyness gripped me during the service that I couldn't even help myself to come near you and say the normal "hi" that most guys would do when they set eyes on a beauty queen like you.

The voice I heard in my ears asking us to worship God was your voice. You started to lead worship and I was in fact "watching and worshiping".

The Word says God will make a way when there seems to be no way and indeed I thank Him he did.

Years back, we went to our spiritual father's house and that was the break for me. We were there and if my memory serves me right, it was a party to celebrate his birthday.

That was the time I managed to kill the spirit of shyness and engaged you in a conversation that lasted for very few minutes because there was nothing I could say anymore after a while.

Your smile to me on that day melted the tension that had swallowed up my heart and I mastered courage to ask your name.  You told me your name and it all begun from there.

Do you still remember my jovial episode in the mini-van that we boarded back home after the party at Ashongman Estates?

I remember I didn't know my residence very well and so forgot where to alight to go back home. I told the mate I would alight at a certain place but later on realized, after getting off the van, that I was completely lost.

I ran after the van and it stopped. I hopped into it and you, guys, burst into laughter.

Do you remember a woman in the van opted that I get down while she directs me to the right place but I insisted I would still manage to get missing if I don't come back to Dome before I decide to take another van to Kwabenya?

Wow, I was looking like a clown...lol...

Let me skip that episode and get down to another experience.

We hooked up and became close, not very close but there was one thing striking about us -- the fact that we never left each other -- the fact that we were everywhere together like MTN.

Our friendship blossomed and kept booming.

Our intimacy was indeed very intimate.

Our chemistry grew strong and stronger.

And then things began to have a different turn when I failed to do what I should have done a long time ago -- I didn't propose even though I knew I was head over heels in love with you.

Maybe it was an injudicious act by me but I think only God understands. I managed to add my convincing voice to the numerous voices that echoed to you to give your heart to someone else (name withheld).

I knew I was in love with you but why I did what I did back then, I don't understand.

I so much liked you but as to why I never opened up to you is still a mystery till date.

Some may say I was Mr. P.O.P but what I know is I was waiting to know you better. I didn't think it was proper to zoom into the realm of deep-seated love when I barely know you.

However, I always wished the best for you.

I prayed the best for you.

I hoped the best for you.

Skip from 2012 to 2015...

I’ve had lonely days and nights before but it’s been ages since I saw my own tears trickling down my face. 2015 was my nightmare.

The hurts, the mess and the hurts again; I just couldn't bear them. I know I'm emotionally strong and mature to an extent but the fire we both went through was very disheartening.

Especially, when I was schooling and working at the same time. I hardly concentrated on my studies. I remember someday I cried bitterly in my lecture hall. I hid myself in a corner of the lecture hall and while the lecturer was teaching, I was supporting him with tears.

I didn't want the ladies in my class to see me cry and so, when they turned to my side; I would return with a smile and continue my sorrow.

It really hurt.

Till I could take it no more, no one ever knew I had borne the pains for such long a time.

I'm not here to apportion blames.

I don't understand our predicament even till date.

Sometimes, I want to put one or two things together to understand the cues but I still get confused and all I do is to leave it to God.

It was our worst storms.

Yet, you were in it together with me.

You were strong for me.

You stood for and with me.

We bore our pains together.

And just when the time had come for Jesus to still the storms in our lives like he did on the sea, another disaster like a tsunami swept us away when we least expected.

Everything had died down.

We could afford genuine smiles.

My heart still pined after you though we were separated for God knows when.

October, November and December, 2015; the storms were mild and we were sailing smoothly.

A new year, 2016, commenced.

I gave thanks to God that he had calmed the storms in our lives for three months before the New Year.

But, on one fateful day in the New Year (2016); the storms began to blow violently against us again but from different direction.

For five months, I was completely lost in thoughts.

Having my final exams to graduate from GIJ and another storm?

I asked myself and Jesus; why all this?

I pondered on lots of things to do to end the storms; obviously suicide was not in the option list.

But I just couldn't take it any longer.

My academics were affected.

My emotions were depleted.

My strength ebbed away.

My joy was sucked.

My prayer was to run away from the environment that the storms were centered. Yet, I couldn't go and I endured the hurtful experience.

You also had your taste of such experience.

I saw you completely broken.

I had to be strong for you, so we both could run together through the fire.

After six months of endurance (hoping for the storms to end & it wasn’t), I realized the only option for the storms to calm down was to sail away from the environment (and the rest is another story not to be told again).

But in all of this, one thing remained; LOVE.

Our love for each other saw us through the fire.  

Going through the fire with you; I realized gold also suffers the same fate as ours. It has to go through fire before it is refined into pure gold.

Yet, it comes out of the fire as the most attractive, expensive, invaluable and significant jewel ever in the world.

The world yearns for gold!

You never left my hand and I also held you tight till we could go through the burning furnace and be refined as gold.

I continually like you.

I love you.

This is why I'm not afraid.

This is why I don't regret having you.

This is why I don't care what any person would say about you or me or both of us.

I know so far as we remain strong for each other, we will always come out refined, refreshed, shiny, precious and beautiful as gold.

I have never stopped thinking about you for three specific reasons:

1. I like you.

2. I love you.

3. I like you so much and every bit you are.

Now, I repeat these sayings to you; my dear:

You're my favourite person.

I'm so blessed to have you as bestie.

You're on my mind now & always.

Whenever we're together, I have the best of times.

You light up my life.

Thanks for bringing joy & love into my life.

Every time I think about you, it's a mix of love & like that resonates in my heart.

I could not have done any better than you.

You're good, better, best just the way you are.

I like you for you.

I love you so much.

No matter how bad my day went, when you smile you make everything all right.

Your love is all I will ever need.

Want to be with you forever.

There's no room left in my heart for another girl.

I love everything about you.

Yes, Everything!

You call me Bestie & I call you Dearie!!

Coded!!!